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For the first time, in a long time, I am finding contentment in solitude. This peace is a fruit of my faith in God and His unconditional love for me. It did not come instantly at the moment of salvation, it was a quiet desire in my heart. I love studying the Bible and while at times I can still procrastinate, it is a daily need. Just a few minutes. Just a psalm. Other days, I'm lost in deep study. I thank God because He, in the Holy Spirit is revealing these things to me. This is a very sweet time of my life.
Before I started this entry tonight, I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to be the spirit of truth I know it to be and reveal the purpose of this time to me. See, while my soul praises God just as David did in his florid Psalms, its also calling out in need. Calling out with questions.
There are many examples in the Bible of God answering prayers and in most of these examples, it happens in God's perfect time. We, as believers in Jesus, need to trust in His will. Be patient.

Psalm 46:9-10A He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariot with fire. Be still and know that I am God.

The words of my wonderful missionary friend are ruminating in my heart. God isn't just going to let you move on. He's gonna pick you up where you left Him and you will walk with Him.

I wanted Ariel's forgiveness for so many years and never received it. I prayed for him to give his heart to Jesus and, to my knowledge, has yet to do so. I sought God during that time but it was selfish. I remember always taking the verses and applying them to my situation. I even remember my mother-in-law saying the Bible is meant to reveal Jesus to us and through that revelation, He tells us who we are. So, now here I am. Savoring the precious word of God. Being shown His love and mercies and purpose which was accomplished in the life, death and resurrection of the Savior Jesus and wanting forgiveness on earth again.

Please God, don't let me take away the mighty work you are doing in Hervey's heart. He is unlike any man I've ever known and I am grateful to You.

Fear creeps in. I look at my world through my eyes and the absurdities of self help articles in Cosmopolitan magazine and doubt creeps in. What if this is just my relationship pattern? Or is this God making me pick back up where I left Him?

Hervey is dealing with forgiveness and, I'd imagine, trust while I am dealing with compassion and also, trust. I heard a radio program the other day. The speaker was talking about this same topic: healing a broken marriage. No, we are not married. It may sound delusional, but my commitment to him is nearly that deep. Nearly. The speaker said the key to allowing God to heal your marriage is the same key to allowing God to do anything in your life. It starts with you. It starts with honesty before God and a contrite heart. A friend of mine echoed this the other day saying, "I kept asking God to change my wife's ways until one day He told me, it was I who needed to change."

This is my prayer, Lord. Remove the log in my eye.


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